It was as if I had said Open sesame! At first, he looked somewhat surprised. Then without saying a word, he put away his map. He started the car again and began to drive. I felt buoyant and cheerful. I had accomplished something that usually proved nearly impossible. Suddenly a channel had opened and communication had begun to flow. This man now understood that it was worth listening to what I had to say.
Choosing your own way through life is just that, you have to choose it yourself. It is a choice that no one else can make for you. The information you need to make this choice must come from within. It is paramount that this kind of choice is grounded upon inner knowledge rather than upon information from without. In many cases, we can be distracted from listening to this inner knowledge because we are bombarded with information from without. And so we look for confirmation of our inner convictions from outside sources. We may not trust our convictions fully.
We all have to fall back upon perseverance from time to time. I need it in my own work right now. Writing this book requires a good deal of perseverance, and in more ways than you might imagine. I have to hit each key on my typewriter with a stick that is fastened with a band around my head. It is not the fastest method in the world, but at least it gives me time to think about what I want to write. While other authors use their hands at work, I use my head.
A lack of self-esteem can easily make a bad situation worse. “When it rains, it pours” is perhaps an expression of our fear that difficulty in our lives will attract even more difficulty. One of the classic examples of failure is Laurel from Laurel and Hardy. Everyone feels sorry for him. We are uncomfortable when watching such characters, as we are reminded of how poorly we ourselves behave in similar situations.
We humans tend to exaggerate the importance of what we can touch and see. This is partly a consequence of the scientific and technical revolution we have gone through over the last 100 years.
Sometimes change may be so vital that the most important thing is just to keep moving. Direction isn’t always of the utmost importance. Sometimes change itself can be the goal. To understand what I mean, think of a goalkeeper, who is always in motion so he can quickly grab the ball when it comes flying toward the goal.
What is the difference, then, between a creative person and a less-creative person? The one ability I consider foremost is the creative person’s habit of doing and seeing things differently. Take Albert Einstein for example. When he formulated his theory of relativity, he imagined himself to be riding a beam of light haphazardly through the universe. His own comment: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
If we don’t encourage such openness, then we might end up with a situation similar to the one that became prevalent in the old USSR, where everyone was afraid of telling the truth. Everybody lied and nothing was as it seemed. This lack of openness played its part in bringing this system to collapse. No one knew what was really going on.
Another obstacle to realizing our dreams is that doing so requires us to change our lifestyle. Routine has far greater power over us than we think. You know what you have now, but not what change may bring. All change guarantees a certain amount of uncertainty. I believe, however, that life is intolerable in the long run unless you set out after your dreams. By denying your dreams, you begin living two separate lives – the one of your imagination and the one of actual daily life.
So, naivety is largely about openness and daring to welcome the unexpected. If a three-year-old, for example, were to see a pink elephant in the middle of street, he would just laugh, whereas an adult wouldn’t believe his eyes. A pink elephant just doesn’t fit into an adult’s mindset.
There are other ways to approach change, however. Change can be met with anxiety and skepticism, or it can be welcomed with curiosity and confidence. When facing change, if you already have a successfully cultivated thirst for knowledge, then you will have a greater ability to relax and see how things will work out. You will not be as likely to fall into panic or fear.
For life is a matter of taking challenges and braving the adventure. If we fail to do this, then we die before our time. As I was saying in another section, we need to rediscover our passion for life and to heed the call of our own personal dreams. This is the true adventure, and if we lose it in the rush of things, then we lose ourselves.
Life is like an empty sack. If we do not fill it, it remains empty. In other words, life itself contains no meaning of its own. It is up to each of us to choose a meaning for our lives, and if we do not do this, then our lives will remain meaningless.
Sometimes I think that we in the industrialized world are not very good at handling crises. Maybe our high standard of living materially has fooled us into believing that only people in third world countries experience suffering and misfortune – that it is not a part of our highly civilized and well-organized society.
Human communication takes time because it is complex. It might be easy to think that it is only a matter of words, but actually, the entire body is involved in our communication. This is why it is crucial to give it the time it needs.
Thus I believe that our very denial and fear of death stems from us not doing what we really should do. And we feel guilty for what we are leaving out of our lives. We experience the nagging feeling that we should be making more of our lives. We live in fear of running out of time and of not being able to do all those things we really want to do. This is why we experience death as a threat.
Some people spend their lives chasing after these emotional peaks. Perhaps they fall in love but break off the relationship as soon as the first rush of feelings begins to fade, and then they look for the next person to fall in love with. Just last night I was talking to a close friend who is newly in love but who is not experiencing an exaggerated sense of euphoria. He finds it a relief. He also believes that this gives the relationship good prospects of lasting.
The concept of "Clear Contracts" is one excellent solution to this. Clear Contracts means that everyone involved in a project knows what is expected of him. Clear Contracts contributes to a sense of security. When people feel secure, they do a better job. They no longer have doubts about their areas of responsibility. Conflicts are avoided and people can use that energy to do their actual work.
Arriving on time is a matter of planning realistically and of leaving a time buffer for unexpected delays. If you do this, you will generally be punctual. Björn, my taxi driver, is a good example. He usually gives himself plenty of extra time, so he is almost always on time. There are those who would rather race the clock. Sooner or later, though, they have to see that this is ultimately a losing proposition.
"I'll show you the way!"
Choosing your own way through life is just that, you have to choose it yourself. It is a choice that no one else can make for you. The information you need to make this choice must come from within. It is paramount that this kind of choice is grounded upon inner knowledge rather than upon information from without. In many cases, we can be distracted from listening to this inner knowledge because we are bombarded with information from without. And so we look for confirmation of our inner convictions from outside sources. We may not trust our convictions fully.
We all have to fall back upon perseverance from time to time. I need it in my own work right now. Writing this book requires a good deal of perseverance, and in more ways than you might imagine. I have to hit each key on my typewriter with a stick that is fastened with a band around my head. It is not the fastest method in the world, but at least it gives me time to think about what I want to write. While other authors use their hands at work, I use my head.
A lack of self-esteem can easily make a bad situation worse. “When it rains, it pours” is perhaps an expression of our fear that difficulty in our lives will attract even more difficulty. One of the classic examples of failure is Laurel from Laurel and Hardy. Everyone feels sorry for him. We are uncomfortable when watching such characters, as we are reminded of how poorly we ourselves behave in similar situations.
We humans tend to exaggerate the importance of what we can touch and see. This is partly a consequence of the scientific and technical revolution we have gone through over the last 100 years.
Sometimes change may be so vital that the most important thing is just to keep moving. Direction isn’t always of the utmost importance. Sometimes change itself can be the goal. To understand what I mean, think of a goalkeeper, who is always in motion so he can quickly grab the ball when it comes flying toward the goal.
What is the difference, then, between a creative person and a less-creative person? The one ability I consider foremost is the creative person’s habit of doing and seeing things differently. Take Albert Einstein for example. When he formulated his theory of relativity, he imagined himself to be riding a beam of light haphazardly through the universe. His own comment: “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
If we don’t encourage such openness, then we might end up with a situation similar to the one that became prevalent in the old USSR, where everyone was afraid of telling the truth. Everybody lied and nothing was as it seemed. This lack of openness played its part in bringing this system to collapse. No one knew what was really going on.
Another obstacle to realizing our dreams is that doing so requires us to change our lifestyle. Routine has far greater power over us than we think. You know what you have now, but not what change may bring. All change guarantees a certain amount of uncertainty. I believe, however, that life is intolerable in the long run unless you set out after your dreams. By denying your dreams, you begin living two separate lives – the one of your imagination and the one of actual daily life.
"Only he who can manage to do nothing can avoid ever making mistakes."
So, naivety is largely about openness and daring to welcome the unexpected. If a three-year-old, for example, were to see a pink elephant in the middle of street, he would just laugh, whereas an adult wouldn’t believe his eyes. A pink elephant just doesn’t fit into an adult’s mindset.
There are other ways to approach change, however. Change can be met with anxiety and skepticism, or it can be welcomed with curiosity and confidence. When facing change, if you already have a successfully cultivated thirst for knowledge, then you will have a greater ability to relax and see how things will work out. You will not be as likely to fall into panic or fear.
For life is a matter of taking challenges and braving the adventure. If we fail to do this, then we die before our time. As I was saying in another section, we need to rediscover our passion for life and to heed the call of our own personal dreams. This is the true adventure, and if we lose it in the rush of things, then we lose ourselves.
Life is like an empty sack. If we do not fill it, it remains empty. In other words, life itself contains no meaning of its own. It is up to each of us to choose a meaning for our lives, and if we do not do this, then our lives will remain meaningless.
Sometimes I think that we in the industrialized world are not very good at handling crises. Maybe our high standard of living materially has fooled us into believing that only people in third world countries experience suffering and misfortune – that it is not a part of our highly civilized and well-organized society.
Human communication takes time because it is complex. It might be easy to think that it is only a matter of words, but actually, the entire body is involved in our communication. This is why it is crucial to give it the time it needs.
Thus I believe that our very denial and fear of death stems from us not doing what we really should do. And we feel guilty for what we are leaving out of our lives. We experience the nagging feeling that we should be making more of our lives. We live in fear of running out of time and of not being able to do all those things we really want to do. This is why we experience death as a threat.
Some people spend their lives chasing after these emotional peaks. Perhaps they fall in love but break off the relationship as soon as the first rush of feelings begins to fade, and then they look for the next person to fall in love with. Just last night I was talking to a close friend who is newly in love but who is not experiencing an exaggerated sense of euphoria. He finds it a relief. He also believes that this gives the relationship good prospects of lasting.
The concept of "Clear Contracts" is one excellent solution to this. Clear Contracts means that everyone involved in a project knows what is expected of him. Clear Contracts contributes to a sense of security. When people feel secure, they do a better job. They no longer have doubts about their areas of responsibility. Conflicts are avoided and people can use that energy to do their actual work.
Arriving on time is a matter of planning realistically and of leaving a time buffer for unexpected delays. If you do this, you will generally be punctual. Björn, my taxi driver, is a good example. He usually gives himself plenty of extra time, so he is almost always on time. There are those who would rather race the clock. Sooner or later, though, they have to see that this is ultimately a losing proposition.